"No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness." Aristotle

Thursday, June 28, 2007

To My Love....

Thoughts on my mind as I wake up from a restless sleep:

Your face haunts my dreams. I could feel the breath move upon my back, up my neck, sending waves of anticipation through my body. It always feels real, your voice ringing out crystal clear, I hear it and I turn, but nothing. The sound of your laughter fades as soon as I look.
I miss the days laying curled in your arms, whether it be a fever induced sleep or just a much needed nap. I miss the touch of your lips as they brush across my forehead, gently wiping the hair from my face.... How I long for those days again.... I miss the comfort of your touch. I miss the safety of your arms.

"All lovers live by longing, and endure: Summon a vision and declare it pure."

Theodore Roethke

How do I....

When you told me the news the other day that you wrote about yesterday, I felt sadness of course, but you saw how well, I responded. For I can not dwell upon such things. If I did, madness would become me. I can only hold on to the belief that everyone has their time and their place, and I believe with every ounce of being that it just isn't yours yet. You will come home to me.

"At the first kiss I felt something melt inside me that hurt in an exquisite way. All my longings, all my dreams and sweet anguish, All the secrets that slept deep within me came awake, Everything was transformed and enchanted, everything made sense."

I do not want to seem calloused, but I just can not dwell upon it. With you, my step-dad, several friends over there, I just can not think about it. For to think upon it would drive that stark reality home and I am functioning quite well in my dream world.

Of course, I am guilty of the what if scenarios all the time. What if you were kidnapped? I know exactly what I would do. I would be in that country, secure any arms that I may need. Then I would hunt the mother fuckers that took you down. They better hope that you are still alive. Because if I find you dead? It will be a long few days for them, because they will die a slow, painful death. I will not get into the details of what all I would do, as it would probably frighten most.

I can not dwell upon things like this.

Soon, it will be over, the nightmare will end.

Soon, I will wake up and that touch will be real, laughter will ring out once again, and all will be well, because life will be as it should be....

"It is the future that creates his present. All is an interminable chain of longing."

Robert Frost


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