"No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness." Aristotle

Monday, June 18, 2007

I Hate The World Today

You know you are sick, when you are a smoker and you can't even choke down one smoke...... Yes, this has been the reasoning for my absence, the mere thought of out-putting any effort what-so-ever has been tiring in itself.


I do believe, the worst thing about being sick, is it leaves the mind to much freedom to wander. I already have this problem and it does not need anymore freedom... (Trust me on this one.)


Dreamland has been my escape... Although, today's dreams were better left undreamed, kept hidden and locked in a vault somewhere, but alas, they came to play and serve as stark reminders of reality. The very reality I hide from, day in and day out...



~Shrug~


Don't mind me, I am rambling... I was searching through the web for an image, trying to avoid the news, but that can not happen. My eyes and ears have stayed peeled to the screen, searching for confirmation of my strange dream, thank the gods, no such confirmation has happened yet....


Anyways, Onto images.... I found this painting and I cried.... Silly perhaps, I, truly must be sick, for it takes a lot for this gal to cry... But this painting, teased me, playing with my memories, like a jokester, reminding me of memories and days gone past, memories and time that has been stolen for the past nine months and will continue to be stolen for at least six more...





I, truly resent their happiness, their smiles, their joy. Sometimes, I just want to stomp and kick my feet, throwing a tantrum like a child about the unfairness of it all. Can I do that?

~Sigh~
I wish... But, no, I must remain strong, steadfast, unrelenting, unemotional, painted mask upon my face, for that is what is expected. Never allowing weakness or fear to show, never allowing one single sign of neediness to shine through. For that does no one any good.

I hate the world today.


Sometimes you find a song, that can put into words how you feel..... Here is that song for me today:


23 comments:

EuroYank - Virginia Hoge said...

Beautiful blog. Well Done! (and thanks for your visit and coment)

Open Eyes Blinded By The Knowledge Of All That Is said...

Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Good day !.
You re, I guess , probably very interested to know how one can collect a huge starting capital .
There is no need to invest much at first. You may commense earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you haven`t ever dreamt of such a chance to become rich
AimTrust incorporates an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

Its head office is in Panama with offices around the world.
Do you want to become really rich in short time?
That`s your choice That`s what you really need!

I`m happy and lucky, I began to get real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. If it gets down to select a correct partner utilizes your savings in a right way - that`s it!.
I earn US$2,000 per day, and my first investment was 500 dollars only!
It`s easy to start , just click this link http://yhurerajyj.o-f.com/ygepuxa.html
and go! Let`s take this option together to feel the smell of real money

Anonymous said...

what singles can do on valentines ady [url=http://loveepicentre.com/]hot horny singles[/url] dating a drug addict http://loveepicentre.com/ abbreviation fwb personals

Anonymous said...

male orgasm on demand [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/floxin.htm]floxin[/url] webmd diabetes http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/artritis.htm medical device manufacturer spokane http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/n.htm
will the military check my medical records [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/trimox.htm]trimox[/url] trouble shoot gas furnace [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/hypnotherapy.htm]the bacteria of yaws[/url]

Anonymous said...

management information systems for mental health facilities [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/wellbutrin-sr.htm]wellbutrin sr[/url] breast boobs http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/sublingual-cialis.htm how to make a heart inside a heart with a dollar http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/mevacor.htm
symptoms and treatments of diabetes [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/voltaren.htm]voltaren[/url] blinkies weight loss [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/imitrex.htm]infant penis average length[/url]

Anonymous said...

virginia smoking ban [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/cialis-soft-tabs.htm]cialis soft tabs[/url] alternate treatment for breast cancer http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/rogaine-5-.htm pics of girls and dog penis http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/abilify.htm
low income medical san diego [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/anafranil.htm]anafranil[/url] snap drug plan [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/viagra-professional.htm]people that have heart attacks[/url]

Anonymous said...

maryland vacation travel guide http://atravel.in/vacation-packages_akumal-vacation-packages travel advisaries
[url=http://atravel.in/travel_travel-agencies-and-85018]itemizing travel[/url] aloha hawaii travel [url=http://atravel.in/plane-tickets_plane-tickets-albany-ny]plane tickets albany ny[/url]
maui escorted travel http://atravel.in/tours_rio-grande-river-float-tours
[url=http://atravel.in/tours_gray-line-tours-in-nyc]national travel basketball team[/url] american express travel partners [url=http://atravel.in/tourist_belize-tourist-info]belize tourist info[/url]
travel agents athens ga http://atravel.in/inn_sleep-inn-london astroglide travel size [url=http://atravel.in/vacation-packages_vacation-packages-to-florida]vacation packages to florida[/url]

Anonymous said...

taryn rose shoes http://topcitystyle.com/leaf-printed-shoes-color6.html online cabinet designer [url=http://topcitystyle.com/-hoodies-women-category11.html]female clothes see nude male[/url] payless shoes coupon
http://topcitystyle.com/light-brown-outwear-color164.html z coil shoes [url=http://topcitystyle.com/?action=products&product_id=2270]yellow box shoes[/url]

Anonymous said...

anal total free preview http://theporncollection.in/gay-movie/oslo-gay-sex-beats
[url=http://theporncollection.in/moms/tooele-moms-group]gay group porn[/url] adult story sites free that start with a [url=http://theporncollection.in/hentai-porn/kenshin-doujinshi-scans-hentai]kenshin doujinshi scans hentai[/url]
hillury duff porn http://theporncollection.in/lesbian-xxx/lesbian-communities
[url=http://theporncollection.in/mature-woman/naked-mature-amateur-pictures]perspective on adult learning[/url] porn pix exchange [url=http://theporncollection.in/porn-girl/tomboys-porn]tomboys porn[/url]
anal gangbang http://theporncollection.in/lesbian-video/free-no-cost-lesbian-porn
[url=http://theporncollection.in/orgy/teen-orgy-vids]old chicks big dicks xxx[/url] free brutal dildo porn video galleries [url=http://theporncollection.in/gay-anal/gay-ball-sucking]gay ball sucking[/url]
funding strategies for older adult programs http://theporncollection.in/gay-video/gay-men-showering
[url=http://theporncollection.in/orgy/orgy-movies-tgp]jennys porn[/url] private secure adult dvd sales [url=http://theporncollection.in/moms/watching-moms-undress]watching moms undress[/url]

Anonymous said...

preparing for gay anal sex http://xwe.in/bondage/beginners-bondage-set
[url=http://xwe.in/ass-video/videos-of-girls-shaking-ass-and-dancing]dirty misty porn[/url] hentai boys jerk off [url=http://xwe.in/condom/condom-machine-condoms]condom machine condoms[/url]
checking virgin broadband speed http://xwe.in/toon/toon-porn-series
[url=http://xwe.in/blowjob/free-hardcore-blowjob-movies]sample porn video[/url] tree streaming adult vids [url=http://xwe.in/toon/toon-boom-crack-version-download]toon boom crack version download[/url]
sexy women strip tease http://xwe.in/girl-anal/anal-cosmetic-surgery
[url=http://xwe.in/shemale/shemale-adriana]plain adult bicicles[/url] emporer 8 dildo [url=http://xwe.in/handjob/video-handjob]video handjob[/url]
free porn sited http://xwe.in/archive-adult/upcoming-adult-movies
[url=http://xwe.in/thong/my-daughters-thong]sexy horny lesbians eating pussy[/url] bulldog mature club porn [url=http://xwe.in/adult-video/adult-cheerleader-stories]adult cheerleader stories[/url]

Anonymous said...

peing movie [url=http://full-length-movies.com/dvd-quality-movie-rutger-hauer-crossworlds/717database/]Rutger Hauer CrossWorlds[/url] american flyers the movie [url=http://worldmovs.co.cc/full_version-wedding-crashers/12651database/]Wedding Crashers[/url]
simpsons movie poster [url=http://full-length-movies.com/dvd-quality-movie-cosi/30076database/]Cosi[/url] bandit movie [url=http://full-length-movies.com/dvd-quality-movie-duplex/16030database/]Duplex[/url]
scary movie 4 women [url=http://full-length-movies.com/dvd-quality-movie-friday-the-13th/15473database/]Friday The 13th[/url] italian language movie rentals [url=http://full-length-movies.com/dvd-quality-movie-the-man-who-cried/25108database/]The Man Who Cried[/url]
hot babes movie gallery [url=http://full-length-movies.com/dvd-quality-movie-die-hard-2/16801database/]Die Hard 2[/url] oxford movie theatres [url=http://worldmovs.co.cc/full_version-boy-on-a-dolphin/17623database/]Boy On A Dolphin[/url]

Anonymous said...

diesel fashion http://luxefashion.us/black-white-tunic-color23.html ross clothes [url=http://luxefashion.us/dolce-amp-gabbana-page11.html]planing fashion show[/url] newborn boys hip hop clothes
http://luxefashion.us/black-leopard-print-on-sale-color43.html lauren graham american way [url=http://luxefashion.us/46-leather-shoes-size4.html]atlanta fashion week[/url]

Anonymous said...

clothes shops ashton in makerfield uk http://www.thefashionhouse.us/d-amp-g-sport-pants-for-men-black-item2303.html rock climbing shoes [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/polo-ralph-lauren-shirts-brand14.html]skechers shoes[/url] camerons clothes the holiday
http://www.thefashionhouse.us/burberry-on-sale-brand4.html australian winter baby clothes [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/versace-casual-jacket-for-women-black-item2512.html]puma ferrari shoes[/url]

Anonymous said...

kidney pain no fever [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/zyban.htm]zyban[/url] care medical salem or http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/y.htm
recurrent genital ulcers not herpes [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/tofranil.htm]tofranil[/url] aseptic techiniques micrococcus luteus bacteria [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/gesunde-knochen.htm ]heart rate monitor and gps [/url] congestive heart failure in the emergency setting
georgia united health care [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/periactin.htm]periactin[/url] bernstein diet review http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/confido.htm
blood charm [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/stop-smoking.htm]stop smoking[/url] pictures of blood cells [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/luvox.htm ]dental for kids [/url] list of concierge medical practices

Anonymous said...

cat scan brain infection [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/antiviral.htm]antiviral[/url] quality health http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/1.htm
gum drop cookies [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/miglioramento-femminile.htm]miglioramento femminile[/url] marinated turkey breast recipes [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/rave--energy-and-mind-stimulator-.htm ]using benighn bacteria to defeat infection [/url] warsensor magazine enhancement kit
best prices dental implants [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/sustiva.htm]sustiva[/url] dakata county drug bust http://usadrugstoretoday.com/products/reminyl.htm
anxiety disorder ricky social williams [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/categories/anti-allergico---asma.htm]anti allergico asma[/url] housebreaking stress research puppy animals [url=http://usadrugstoretoday.com/catalogue/o.htm ]drug information on prednizone [/url] meridia generic sibutramine 5mg

Anonymous said...

roxy shoes http://www.thefashionhouse.us/dolce-amp-gabbana-leather-bags-tote-purses-brand2.html clothes disappear nightvision [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/29-roberto-cavalli-size16.html]nfl baby clothes[/url] shoes worn by shakira
http://www.thefashionhouse.us/napapijri-women-s-tops-brand62.html hawaiian fashion [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/dolce-amp-gabbana-rocky-sport-pants-for-men-black-item2128.html]easyspiritshoes[/url]

Anonymous said...

peart izumi spinning shoes http://luxefashion.us/-funky-dolce-amp-gabbana-category44.html ann klein womens watches [url=http://luxefashion.us/green-white-on-sale-color184.html]cruise clothes[/url] shoes to wear when walking dogs in snow
http://luxefashion.us/score-shirts-brand75.html earth collection clothes [url=http://luxefashion.us/river-island-women-apos-s-long-sleeve-tops-brand59.html]pics of chanel perfume[/url]

Anonymous said...

online shoes http://www.thefashionhouse.us/underwear-dolce-amp-gabbana-category35.html pam diabetic shoes [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/prada-shirts-brand10.html]cheap shoes[/url] interior designer paint
http://www.thefashionhouse.us/-men-underwear-accessories-category36.html pictures of designer rooms [url=http://www.thefashionhouse.us/dolce-amp-gabbana-trendy-pants-dark-grey-item1410.html]indian wedding clothes[/url]

Anonymous said...

travel humidifier http://xwl.in/vacation-packages/northern-nj-vacation-packages ems walkabout travel day pack
[url=http://xwl.in/tour/asta-travel-tour-recommendations]travel distance from los angeles to costa rica[/url] national geographic travel iexplore [url=http://xwl.in/tours/saint-croix-tours]saint croix tours[/url]
travel mate viii dv recorder and player open box http://xwl.in/adventure/cabelas-outdoor-adventure-xbox
[url=http://xwl.in/airline/canadian-airline-companies]sky news travel pictures[/url] immunization overseas travel [url=http://xwl.in/airline/airline-market-share]airline market share[/url]
nms nursing management services travel nursing http://xwl.in/lufthansa/angels-in-airways travel guide job [url=http://xwl.in/tour/tesla-2008-concert-tour]tesla 2008 concert tour[/url]

Anonymous said...

meternity clothes http://luxefashion.us/fred-mello-men-brand105.html boston fashion designer [url=http://luxefashion.us/multicolored-casual-shirts-color13.html]ralph lauren marseilles[/url] lady michal lauren
http://luxefashion.us/men-page17.html clothes press australia [url=http://luxefashion.us/women-page45.html]gucci sunglass frames[/url]

Anonymous said...

current slot machine jackpot winners http://xwn.in/joker_lyrics-to-joker-steve-miller-band gambling devices
[url=http://xwn.in/jokers_jokers-oil-paintings]football pools betting[/url] stanley casino in glasgow [url=http://xwn.in/keno_play-2-4-6-keno-slots-free]play 2 4 6 keno slots free[/url]
ct state lottery results http://xwn.in/casino-online_play-slots-at-bodog-casino-free
[url=http://xwn.in/online-casino_casino-bonus-forum]up iland resort casino[/url] multi card keno [url=http://xwn.in/betting_free-betting-tips]free betting tips[/url]
internet poker free casino http://xwn.in/lottery_tropical-lottery four winds casino indiana [url=http://xwn.in/jackpot_play-super-jackpot-party-on-line]play super jackpot party on line[/url]

Anonymous said...

free horror movie theme music [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_army_of_the_dead/]army of the dead[/url] how to burn dvd movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_poker_club/ budget movie theater
mobile armored strike kommand movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_observe_and_report/]observe and report[/url] nucleus movie http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_roswell/ home movie adult
lord of the flies black and white movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_angel_heart/]angel heart[/url] the cool ever movie made
fractured movie [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_boundin_/]boundin [/url] movie down load to dvd http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_enemy_within/ movie review last waltz
free movie and music converters [url=http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_fashion_victim/]fashion victim[/url] movie prop costumes http://moviestrawberry.com/films/film_the_mikado/ paprika the movie